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This blog thenceforth shall be my creative output and outlet. Only constructive criticism is welcomed.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

East Sun - Chapter One

Chapter One - The Stirring (Incomplete)

“I am the king!” Jarius slammed one fist on his royal throne as he pointed another at the man standing in front of him.

“Are you forgetting who put you there?” Calm as he always was, Avenzel rested upon his staff in the center of the throne room surrounded by Jarius’ counselmen, as he spoke, 

“Jarius, have you forgotten what it means to be king, what it means to be the lord of the Aeden throne? I have told you from the very start that the burden upon your shoulders would be far too great for any one man to carry, and the power, far too tempting for any one man to bear. It was not for your strengths that you became the chosen king; it was by your potential. Yes, Jarius, you are the king, and now act like one.”

There were some gasps from the council as Avenzel spoke those words. No one else would dare to speak to Lord Jarius in this manner. The law allowed Jarius to execute anybody who offends him especially within his throne room. Jarius had brought the kingdom of Aeden back from ruins. His councilroom was testament to the fact with its rounded hall and seven supporting pillars that seemed to take forever to reach the ceiling that was painted like the heavens. The thirteen lesser thrones surrounding the Aeden throne adorned with gold encircled the counselroom. A path between two lesser thrones that led directly to the middle of the room began at the main grand entrance. Protecting the main entrance of the counselroom stood a gate so grand that it requires two men to open.  The wealth of the nation could be seen painted on the walls, pillars, and ceiling as though creation was birthed from this place.

“Avenzel, do not use your wise words against me! I owe you a great debt for your service to me, but I would not be silent as you mock me in front of my counsel.”

“Can’t you see that you have been blinded? My child, open your eyes to see that the so-called wisdom that you have consulted has scaled your eyes. The words in whisper are the hardest to forget and so are the words of spite. Hatred has been planted, Jarius, do not let it win.”

“Can you listen to this old man any longer, my Lord?” Shaphira, the governor of the northern territories of Flynt and Barbiscus who sat two thrones away from the king's right, could not hold her tongue any longer, “Avenzel, you have been excused from the court with dignity, do you want to be escorted out with nothing left?”

“Woman, do you think I care about trivial face and social piety?” Avenzel’s stare though wrinkled with age lingered with determination and fire, “This is a matter beyond any of you so-called counselmen. You have excused me as a member of counsel, yes, but I am here as a citizen of Aeden and have every right to seek the king for an audience as stated in our laws.  You can lock yourselves in the emerald rooms that you possess later, but be you all warned that there is a fire burning from the very foundations of this soil!”

“Shaphira,” The King spoke, “Did I call upon your counsel? It would do you good to know your place in this hierarchy. As for your ‘concern’, my dear friend, it holds no importance in this court; you may leave if there be naught left to be said.”

“There is one more thing to be said,” Avenzel gazed as the floor as if contemplating his next words, “You are all fools to think that you are above what is coming. As in the words of the prophet Enzer, ‘the council will not be deaf but still would not hear; they will not be blind but still would not see...’”

“You were the very one who told me that Enzer was a nut.”

“Yes, I did call him that. Not for his wisdom, but for his stubbornness. He saw no better time than the present and was rash in his actions and words. Much like how you are rash in dismissing me.”

“Guards, take him away!” No one could ever testify to have seen the king lose his anger as such before, but before the guards could lay a hand on him, Avenzel turned around to face them and the guards stayed their place. Avenzel’s gaze was terrifying as he walked out of the counselroom unescorted.  The sound of the king’s agony was cut short by the shutting of the great doors that stood at the entrance of the counselroom.

As Avenzel walked past the gates of the multitudes of men and women waiting in line to gain audience with the king, he whispered the lyrics of an old rhyme:

Listen to the old for their stories to be told
Listen to the wise for their stories in their eyes
Listen to the brave for their stories in their days
Listen, oh you, young; the fire has begun

Beyond the setting star rises a mist upon the ground
And through the misty clouds no nature can be found
What lies beyond the peaks of Carringon’s Steep?
What moves in the night while we lay asleep?

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As the evening drew and the last of the citizens in line to see the king departed, Jarius rose from his throne, strode behind it, passed the golden high curtains, and fell into his resting chamber. His counselmen knew better than to question his haste exit, they knew that Avenzel had a knack at getting on the king’s nerves as well as pretty much everyone else, but peace was beyond him that evening. Jarius laid there reclined on his mattress staring into the ceiling as he pondered on the words of Avenzel, and though he hated to admit it, he knew that Avenzel often spoke true.

Avenzel was probably the only man he could truly trust – not even his counselmen had his full confidence. Avenzel was the man that made it possible for him to be king. Avenzel was the man who saw the potential in his scrawny limbs. It was Avenzel who plucked him out of poverty when he was just a youth and entrusted him within the care of the palace stables. It was Avenzel that recommended him to be the next Captain of the Stallions after Rider Mavin retired, and it was Avenzel that got the counsel to make him the king after Lord Jolan was killed in battle. Avenzel was in every step, and yet Jarius never truly understood why. Avenzel has never been clear about his attentions to Jarius. Whenever he was asked why, Avenzel would reply with some wise words such as ‘time unfolds all questions and answers them with patience’ or ‘a man who knows his destiny may fall short of it.’  That was Avenzel: always speaking in riddles. 

Deep in his thinking, Jarius did not hear someone approaching and he jumped the moment a feminine face appeared in his line of sight. He sat up to see a beautiful face with a beautiful smile; Kanra, his third wife from Lokyeshin, giggled, “Sorry, did I startle the king?”

“You can’t startle the king,” He replied. All his worries forgotten for a moment, Jarius put a smile on his face. “Nothing happens without the king knowing it. I merely acted startled to entertain you.” They both laughed at the lie.  He held her hands in his. “What brings you into my humble abode?”

“You’re late for dinner, and the entire royal family is hungry.” At that Jarius turned out his window to realize that the sun had set and the city was quiet.

“Sorry, Kanra, I was troubled.” Kanra went closer into his embrace at those words.

“I heard that the old man paid you a visit?”

“Yes, he did, but that is a matter for another time. As they say, lay aside troubles for the night, as good sleep solves most of them.”

“Good sleep and good wine.”

“Come,” said Jarius after a laugh, “Let’s eat.” Jarius held Kanra's hand as the headed for the banquet hall, but before leaving, Jarius turns back to the window and sees the small lights from the houses below. He sees the point where the sky touches the earth.  He sees the massive towering mountain whose three main peaks could be clearly made out in the darkness.  He sees what seems to be a small light emerging from the middle peak.

“Daydreaming again?” Kanra said tugging his hand. Jarius steals one more stare at the window before following her out the door. 

He could never refuse Kanra. One could say she was his favorite of his three wives. He married his first, Aeshen, due to his kingly duties to keep Jolan’s bloodline. Aeshen is Jolan’s niece and she was the youngest of marriageable age, but still four years older than Jarius. She has been loyal, but she has always been a little too picky about the finer details. Senphin, his second wife, was another political marriage to stop the territory of Calaphan from revolting. Though she would be considered the most beautiful among the three, she was also the most cunning and deceptive. Until now Jarius rarely confides in her, not knowing her true intentions. Kanra was his controversial wife. For the first time in Aeden’s history, the king took a wife that was not of any noble families, but it was not surprising knowing Jarius’ roots. Kanra became his anchor to reality and her charitable heart far outweighed her lack of education.  Kanra was his childhood friend. His sister from the street stables and they grew up together. Kanra was a waitress at the shack of a restaurant in which he worked as a hay boy, and the lessons they learnt from there thought them how much they needed each other.

As they approached the banquet hall, Jarius could hear the sounds of his starving family – particularly the cries of Fosten, his youngest son and third child from Senphin.

“You’re late,” mentioned Fizgard, Aeshen’s second son six years in age, as Jarius and Kanra entered the room, “Shara was going to swallow her tongue soon.”

“Fizgard, know your place!” warned Aeshen, “He may be your father, but he too is the king and they both deserve your respect.”

“Yes, Mother.” Gloom took over Fizgard’s face as he sat back upon his seat. 

Jarius chuckled at the cacophony in the throne room and proceeded to his seat. When Jarius became king, he insisted that the banguet tables be circular to show equality, but after much debate with the royal hall planners, everyone agreed to an oval table. Jarius passed by Fizgard and patted him on the head before reaching his seat.

“Forgive my tardiness,” He said, “I was resting and I forgot about the time.” 


As is the tradition of Aeden, the whole table went silent as Jarius pronounced thanks and blessings, "For the meal before us and the meals to come, for the life in us and the strength we have. May we give as we've been given, and may we be ever thankful." 

The family responded in unison, "To be ever thankful."

With that, the food on the table was uncovered and the meat was brought out to be served. When he first became king, Jarius refused to eat glamorous food when his nation was going through a rough time and he supplied the palace excess to feed the people. It was only when he brought Aeden back to prosperity that he actually began eating meals fit for a king. That was the type of king Jarius was. Because of his sacrifices, he earned the trust of his people.  He was the people’s pleaser and often went to great lengths to help those that needed help often to the disagreement of Aeshen and especially Senphin. 

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Starring out into the fortress of Aeden from his succor in the mountains, Verender puts his fire out as he readies to rest. He sees the lights in the secret resting room of the king dim and he is reminded of the past.  Though an outcast of Aeden due to his weakness in the Calaphan revolt, Verender is still highly loyal to the Aeden throne. Because of his shame, he fled into the mountain that stood behind the castle and has imposed an exile on himself. Verender was Jarius’ Captain of the Archers and he felt responsible when one of his men opened fire into an innocent Calaphanene boy. It was under his watch that the Calaphan feud became the Calaphan revolt and he retired from his position when the issue was resolved - after Senphin was taken as Jarius’ bride.

As he lay there in his self-imposed exile, he could not help but think of the many things he could have done to prevent that young boy from dying. After the whole incident, Verender visited Calaphan to seek the boy’s family for forgiveness. He learnt that the boy was the first and only son of elderly farmers. After the boy’s birth, there were some complications and the woman could not conceive again. The boy’s name was Hienavon which meant god-sent. When he met Hienavon’s parents and told them of his 
involvement in their son’s death, they simply gave him a slight smile and said that as Hienavon was god-sent, he could also be taken away. They thanked him for his honor and bravery which did not make Verender feel any better. He was hoping to have the town turn against him as vengeance for Hienavon, but living with the guilt was a far heavier punishment.

After six years in the wilderness, many think Verender dead. He left without a word and has yet to utter one for close to four years. At first he talked to himself to drive insanity away, but soon he embraced it. As his head lay on his makeshift pillow of deer skin, he hears the rumblings from beneath the earth and his eyes widen. With that he speaks the first words that he has muttered in years:

“One by one, they came to seek
For the ancient words they want to speak
But the words were lost as was the art
No man left around could the words impart

But in the ground beneath the Steep
Lies an ancient power deep asleep
And as he awakes from his eternal rest
The ancient words will rise to test
Every man left will have to stand
The Aeden throne for every man.”

As he mutters the last line of this old-forgotten folksong, he rises from his mid-slumber and runs without rest to the gates of Aeden.

5 comments:

  1. Really interesting! Can't really imagine how the story will unfold (or more like, imagining too much) :D

    A few typos here and there but they are mostly minor ones :)

    One thing, is Jarius's third wife's name Kanra or Kanya? In the earlier part you used the former and switched to the latter after a while...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi there!

      Thanks for taking interest in the story.
      If you can tell me where the typos are, I'll be more than grateful for your help :)
      And her name is Kanra. Must have gotten confused with the names after some time.

      Thanks for helping me make this story a better one :)

      Delete
    2. No problem :)

      P3
      'I have told you from the very start that the burden that will be upon your shoulders would be far too great for any one man to carry, and the power, far too tempting for any one man to bare.' Your tenses in this sentence keeps on changing, mainly these three words 'have', 'will' and 'would'. Because have and will are present tense, but would is past. Would is also more for something that is uncertain. As of 'bare', the correct spelling is bear.

      When I have the time I will look through the whole story, for now it's just Paragraph three! :)

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    3. P4

      'The law allowed Jarius to execute anybody who offends him in his throne room.'

      offends --> offended (again, same tense applies in a sentence)

      'His counselroom was testament to the fact with its rounded hall and seven supporting pillars that seemed to take forever to reach the ceiling.'

      counselroom --> council room
      the --> that (I'm assuming you're talking about the fact that he brought Aeden back from ruins?)
      *If you ARE talking about the fact that he brought Aeden back from ruins, then 'rounded halls' should be described in such a way that it supports your statement. Perhaps 'capacious rounded hall'?

      'The thirteen lesser thrones surrounding the Aeden throne adorned with gold encircled the counselroom.'

      Here you have two adjective clauses used together, 'surrounding the Aeden throne' and 'adorned with gold'. I'm not sure if it can be used that way, but it's definitely a little confusing (for me la).

      And again, 'council room'. :)

      'Protecting the main entrance of the counselroom stood an entrance that needed two men to open made of the finest wood.'

      entrance --> door (?)

      Again, two adjective phrases 'needed two men to open', 'made of the finest wood'.

      :)

      Delete
  2. PS: Later on her [Kanra] name changes to Kayla. Just to let you know :)

    ReplyDelete